Wedding Cakes - Texture Taste And Terror

Wedding Shower Piece of Cake Treat Boxes

by Daisy May

A guarantee to put a smile on the face of all your guests attending the wedding is when they are handed a slice of wedding cake also a few pounds in weight if not careful. Wedding cakes will always hold second place to the bride in looking glamorous on this occasion. But as beautiful as the bride may be it is the cake we will be sinking our teeth into.

Wedding cakes are a major issue when piecing together your wedding plans. Cake type and flavours will be of your own choosing. Grand or simple from one tier two tier 3 4 5 if you want. This is your wedding cake so you get to decide. One very important thing you have to remember more tiers can lead to more tears if your budget is tight and you can not afford the cake you had your heart set on. Well let me let you in on a little secret which is, simple is just as tasty and pretty as eye candy. There is no difference in the cake that stands tall. This is about taste, so the simple round mound and the replica of the empire state building will both taste exactly the same. There is just one thing dont expect second helpings of the simple choice.

The wedding cake is finely detailed by the confectioner just like a creator at work on a piece of canvas. The works that goes behind the making of a wedding cake is not as simple as it may look especially when it comes to decorating and adding decorations. Heaven forbid should you try to pipe cream a wedding cake with the shakes.

Time is such an essential factor when ordering your wedding cake. It would be wise to talk with the bakery doing the catering to find out the best time to place the order. Your cake baker will know precisely how long it will take to make after you have given him/her the details on what design style flavour and ingredients. Be sure to ask how much it will cost because every little added extra to your wedding cake comes with a price.

If you are planning to wed in a flower garden or on the hot sun kissed beaches of Benidorm then let the confectioner know. If the baker has all this information under his hat he will attend to the needs of the wedding cake in a professional and sensible manner where he/she will deliver and place the cake in a suitable place. In other words they will protect it from the climate or weather conditions on the day.

There are some really fabulous books out there to help you with ideas on how to decorate your own cake; this is a great option if money is tight. All you need to do is order a plain wedding cake and take it from there. If you are terrified of botching it up dont fret, nip along to the baker and he will finish the job.
Try it you really have nothing to lose but a little time. So what are you waiting for go save the pennies to put towards that going away outfit.

Learn from these books

Martha Stewart's Wedding Cakes
Of all the decisions that go into planning a wedding, choosing the cake may be the sweetest. Much more than dessert, this beloved wedding symbol should be as special as the bride and groom themselves. Whether you imagine a majestic cake blooming with fresh flowers, a pristine fondant-covered masterpiece, or a homespun take on strawberry shortcake- or even if you don’t know where to begin- Martha Stewart’s Wedding Cakes will provide you with more than 100 delicious and inspiring ideas for timeless and beautiful confections that are perfect for every style of wedding.
Not just visually inspiring, these pages are filled with information you won’t find anywhere else. Martha Stewart and Wendy Kromer, the master baker and decorator who has been creating cakes for Martha Stewart Weddings for more than a decade, guide you through everything you need to consider when selecting a cake- and even how to bake and decorate one yourself. Novice and experienced bakers alike will find recipes and insiders’ techniques to create truly memorable wedding cakes.

Wedding Cakes You Can Make: Designing, Baking, and Decorating the Perfect Wedding Cake
Make the cake?
Yes, you can.
If you love to bake and are willing to plan ahead, you can make a spectacular wedding cake--and you don't have to be a pastry chef to do it! Let prominent wedding cake expert Dede Wilson guide you through every layer of the process--from choosing among flavors and styles to baking, assembling, and decorating your way to a beautiful and delicious cake. This accessible cookbook not only gets you ready for the big event, it helps you lend a truly personal touch to the celebration.
"If you want to make your own wedding cake, Dede Wilson is the perfect guide. She helps you bake with confidence every step of the way to a delicious personalized result."
--Donna Ferrari, BRIDE'S magazine

The Perfect Wedding Cake The Perfect Wedding Cake is an inspirational guide for the bride and groom on how to choose a wedding cake that reflects the style of their wedding. It covers everything they need to know, including how to select a cake design and baker, when to cut and serve the cake, and how to choose delicious flavor combinations and a cake to complement the season. For those who want to bake their cake at home, the book includes basic but delicious cake and frosting recipes created by a leading pastry chef that can be executed in a home kitchen.
Thirty-five full-color photographs of gorgeous wedding cakes showcase a wide variety of inspirational styles and types-from traditional tiered cakes to contemporary alternatives such as jewel-like single-serving cakes-created by some of the most respected chefs working today, including Sylvia Weinstock, FranÁois Payard, Gail Watson, and Ron Ben-Israel. An extensive resource guide of the top wedding cake bakers in the United States completes the book.

The Wedding Cake Decorator's Bible Ideal for beginning and experienced cakemakers, The Wedding Cake Decorator's Bible is packed with design ideas, methods and techniques for making and decorating unforgettable wedding cakes. Full step-by-step photographs and descriptions make this book an invaluable resource for a variety of wedding cake designs.

Wedding Cakes: Exciting Designs with Full Step-By-Step Instructions 14 elegant confections, from a traditional three-tiered stunner topped with a happy bride and groom to a whimsical pair of his-and-hers top hat and picture hat cakes. Complete instructions are given for more than 20 different decorating techniques, including making lace, embroidery, extension work, ribbon insertion, and creating a whole garden full of flowers. 80 pages (all in color), 8 1/2 x 11.

Article Source: Wedding Cakes - Texture Taste And Terror

Simple Stunning Weddings: Designing and Creating Your Perfect Celebration by Karen Bussen

Simple Stunning Weddings: Designing and Creating Your Perfect Celebration
by Karen Bussen

The three biggest trends in weddings today are simplicity, personalization, and color. Wedding design expert Karen Bussen highlights these elements as she shows couples how to design their own weddings without going crazy or broke.

Simple Stunning Weddings is the first wedding design book to focus on the where of the wedding. Location is the first and most important decision brides and grooms must make: everything else flows from that. Bussen showcases 12 popular wedding settings, including the city loft, country inn, art gallery, botanic garden, and private club, and demonstrates how to make them extraordinary. With the site as the starting point, she creates unifying themes with color, flowers, and personal touches. She explains how to deal with vendors, how to spend the wedding budget, and when it makes sense to hire a specialist.

Sharing all her trade secrets, Bussen teaches the power of simplicity and the impact of color, which can be tailored to any budget, always to stunning effect: substituting cotton tablecloths for silk in the same eye-dazzling color combinations, for example, or creating striking flower arrangements using only one or two types of blooms. Whether for a barefoot union on a beach or a formal affair in a hotel ballroom, this fully illustrated, information-filled book is like having Bussen on hand as your personal wedding designer. AUTHOR BIO: KAREN BUSSEN is one of Manhattan's most exciting wedding designers. Her work has been featured in such magazines as Modern Bride, Martha Stewart Weddings, Home, Food & Wine, and Interior Design. In the past six years, she has designed more than 100 weddings.

ELLEN SILVERMAN's photographs have appeared in Charmed Bracelets and New Soul Cooking (both STC).

About the Authors
KAREN BUSSEN is one of Manhattan's most exciting wedding designers. Her work has been featured in such magazines as Modern Bride, Martha Stewart Weddings, Home, Food & Wine, and Interior Design. In the past six years, she has designed more than 100 weddings.

ELLEN SILVERMAN's photographs have appeared in Charmed Bracelets and New Soul Cooking (both STC).

Simple Stunning Weddings: Designing and Creating Your Perfect Celebration is available at Amazon

Colin Cowie's Extraordinary Weddings: From a Glimmer of an Idea to a Legendary Event by Colin Cowie

Colin Cowie's Extraordinary Weddings: From a Glimmer of an Idea to a Legendary Event
by Colin Cowie

What would you like your wedding day to look like?

Maybe you dream of a winter wedding, set against snowcapped mountains. Perhaps you would prefer a barefoot wedding on the beach at sunset, with your friends and family dancing until dawn in an ethereal red tent. Or would your ideal wedding be an exotic, wine-tinged Moroccan celebration capped by a family-style Middle Eastern feast? Lifestyle guru, TV host, and wedding-planner extraordinaire Colin Cowie has created these amazing weddings, and many more. In Colin Cowie’s Extraordinary Weddings, he finally shares his secrets for creating weddings that are unparalleled, memorable, and–above all–personal.

Both wish book and inspirational guide, this gorgeous retrospective reveals every detail of fourteen glittering, romantic, and meticulously thought-out weddings. Full of the sophisticated details and elegant flourishes that only Colin Cowie could have envisioned, these real events are sure to fuel your imagination. First, Colin takes you step by step through all of the sumptuous details, describing how he worked with each couple to weave their interests, heritage, and unique elements of their love story into their celebrations. Colin also provides ideas and tips that you can apply in your own wedding, including:

• Choosing a meaningful theme and carrying it through every detail
• Creating truly personal vows
• Making guests feel at home at your destination wedding
• Deciding on fabulous looks for flowers, fabrics, place settings, and more

Whether you’re hunting for ideas for your event, searching for solutions to your planning challenges, or just dazzled by the romance of weddings, you will treasure this one-of-a-kind book. Enjoy poring over these wonderful weddings and learn how to make the day you say “I do” absolutely special–and absolutely extraordinary.

About Colin Cowie
Colin Cowie’s renowned parties have made him a favorite of Oprah Winfrey, Jerry Seinfeld, John Travolta, heads of state and royalty, and many others–and secured his place as one of the most sought-after wedding planners in the world. He appears regularly on The Oprah Winfrey Show and The Early Show and is a frequent contributor to O Magazine, Brides, and People. Born in Zambia and raised in South Africa, he now resides in New York. Colin Cowie Lifestyle, his event-planning, interior-design, and lifestyle company, is based in Los Angeles and New York.

Colin Cowie's Extraordinary Weddings: From a Glimmer of an Idea to a Legendary Event is available at Amazon

Fête: The Wedding Experience by Jung Lee

Fête: The Wedding Experience
by Jung Lee

A fresh take on weddings for today’s modern couples
Filled with practical tips to help anyone at any income level plan the wedding of their dreams

Extraordinary weddings are the ones that bring the marrying couple’s vision to vivid life. Every element-—venue, music, food, decor—resonates with meaning, reflecting the pair’s own taste and style. Putting all those elements together in a way that ensures a magical time for the wedding party and all the guests entails much more than just ticking off the boxes on a preset checklist. It requires introspection to discern the bride and groom’s true wishes—and it takes the impeccable orchestration of the total experience.

By focusing on introspection and orchestration—and by enabling couples to realize their wedding-day fantasies, no matter where they live and no matter what their budget—Jung Lee and her company, Fête, have rocketed to the top of the wedding-planning industry. In Fête: The Wedding Experience, Lee shares her secrets with every bride- and groom-to-be, walking them through the same planning process she’s developed for her sophisticated clientele.

Knowing that every memorable wedding is uniquely personal, Lee tells the stories of eight Fête-produced weddings, each highlighting a different aspect of planning. Lavishly illustrated with 150 stunning photographs, Fête: The Wedding Experience will provide endless inspiration as you plan the fête of your dreams.

About Jung Lee
The founder of gourmet food stores in New York and a former residential real estate developer, JUNG LEE founded Fête Events in 2001 with her husband, Josh Brooks, a management expert. In five years, Fête has become one of the highest-profile event-planning firms in the business. In addition to appearing on the Style NetworkÂ’s Whose Wedding Is It Anyway? Jung and Fête have been profiled in major magazines from Vogue to New York to InStyle Weddings. She lives in New York.

Fête: The Wedding Experience is available at Amazon

Style Your Dream Wedding by Susan Coelho

Style Your Dream Wedding
by Susan Coelho

Style expert Susie Coelho has created this guide for the bride who wants to have a stylish and personalized wedding. Coelho ignites the creative sparks for the woman planning her dream day by laying out the top 8 styles that any wedding fits into and provides inspiration and hundreds of unique ideas for each.

Whether the bride chooses Classic, Classic Holiday, Contemporary, Beach, Countryside, Garden, Fanciful or Exotic, Coelho has provided every tool imaginable for her to not only achieve, but surpass even her own expectations. Sophisticated, accessible styles are found on every page in some of the most stunningly beautiful photography ever compiled in a title of this kind. From a formal church wedding to a barefoot beach ceremony, she helps every bride create a wedding that is truly her own.

With her witty, warm voice, Coelho is like your best friend and your ultimate wedding consultant rolled into one.

Style Your Dream Wedding is available at Amazon

About Susie Coelho
Susie Coelho is a leading lifestyle expert in home, garden, and entertaining. She hosted two series on HGTV: Surprise Gardener and Outer Spaces. She was a contributor to The View (ABC-TV) and was a style consultant to The Today Show (NBC-TV). She has authored four other design and style books and is a best-selling author. She launched her first collection of stylish home basics and décor, Susie Coelho Style™ at Mervyns. Her other licensing programs included Susie Coelho at Home ™at QVC, Susie Coelho Signature™ at Calyx and Corolla and Susie Coelho Outdoor™

Our Wedding Scrapbook

Our Wedding Scrapbook
by Darcy Miller
Featured in O, The Oprah Magazine

Keep the most important memories of your life safe in this charming interactive scrapbook that offers welcome relief from hectic wedding planning and a way to create a personalized keepsake of the tender moments, celebrations, and romance of your wedding.
From the leading lady at Martha Stewart Weddings comes a beautifully illustrated scrapbook that will make it easy for bliss-filled, overwhelmed newlyweds to create a book of their first wedded memories. From first-date impressions to how he “popped the question”; from the excitement of the engagement and bridal shower through the “Big Day” itself and the romance of the honeymoon, this scrapbook allows brides to capture the memorable moments in a way that goes beyond the standard (and rarely looked at) wedding photo album.

This scrapbook is designed for brides who want a lovely, original keepsake, but aren’t sure where to start. Darcy Miller’s whimsically elegant blend of art and text offers a framework to let the bride’s unique style and personality shine through, as she prompts brides to press a blossom from their bouquet; commemorate the toasts; list the activities at the shower; send themselves a postcard from the honeymoon, and much more--to make a book of memories to be enjoyed for years to come.

Darcy Miller is the editorial director of Martha Stewart Weddings, which is published quarterly and reaches more than a million readers. One of the nation's most recognized and trusted wedding experts, Darcy is a sought-after speaker, author, and illustrator. She writes the "New York Times" syndicated column "Weddings" and has been featured on leading news and lifestyle television shows nationwide. She lives with her family in New York City.

Get is at Barnes and Noble

Martha Stewart's Wedding Cakes

Martha Stewart's Wedding Cakes
List Price: $60.00
Get it at: $37.80 + FREE Shipping at Amazon


Martha takes the (wedding) cake

Can an oversized book starring over-the-top, multi-tiered, massive wedding cakes daunt the mighty Martha Stewart?

OK, we know the answer to that.

If anything, the cakes have met their match. "Martha Stewart's Wedding Cakes", is a serious confection, filled with good advice, several recipes and able assistance from Stewart's co-writer, wedding cake expert Wendy Kromer.

The book's price is a hefty sum, though in American Brideland -- a fantasy world where cost (seemingly) is no object -- this is a bargain compared with, say, the $8,000 dress or the $2,500 invitations.

We also wouldn't advise a bride, however skilled, to make her own wedding cake, or expect a friend to -- at least not one from this book.

That said, what a marvelous resource this is. Even if you aren't going to make the seven-tier "Devil's Food Finale Cake" to serve 380, you'll learn the ropes before you visit pastry shops.

You'll also glean terrific ideas just by looking at the stunning, informative photos. We never thought of buying a vintage cake topper -- and what a great suggestion that is.

What's more, these ideas will inspire the cakes you make for smaller celebratory occasions year-round. Charts and techniques for frosting, piping and decorating are thorough and well-written.

We made the white butter cake and fudge frosting from the book; the cake's crumb was slightly dry but quite sturdy -- ideal for the rigors of layering. The frosting was easy and tasted divine.

After the wedding, this book will continue to earn its keep -- something that can't necessarily be said for that $8,000 dress.
source: Kansas.com

via | MarthaStewart.it

Eco-Chic Weddings

Your wedding, Your world

Welcome to Eco-Chic Weddings. I’m glad you’re here. Eco-chic is the belief that you can have a beautiful, stylish, well-designed life, and also make good consumer choices. Choices that will benefit the environment and society, as opposed to purchasing items that are produced at the expense of under-paid or mistreated workers, or were made using a toxic or damaging production process. Eco-Chic Weddings is the first comprehensive guide for the soon-to-be-married set interested in making chic, stylish buying decisions that are also eco-minded and socially responsible. Eco-chic buying decisions, to be specific. And as the amount of money spent on weddings increases year by year, more and more products and services are available for these couples. And the growth in weddings each year is indeed dramatic–there have been 200 million more weddings in the past year than there were in the year 2000. According to a recent survey by The Condé Nast Bridal Group, the amount of money we spend on weddings has increased by 100% since 1990.

There are many possible reasons for this increase in wedding spending. Books and magazines encourage us to create special, unique events for our families and friends. Indeed, for many people, planning a wedding can be one of the most creative, exciting projects in their lives. Choosing the colors, the dress, the flowers–this is a lot of fun, and it isn’t something most of us get to do on a regular basis.

While the wedding business has become such a prevalent part of today’s marketplace, there has also been another consumer-trend takingplace–the eco-friendly, sustainable movement. With the popularity of the “green” movement, every day we see more and more options and ideas that are environmentally and socially conscious, ideas with style and integrity. And yes, many of the ideas are perfectly suited for your wedding. Eco-Chic Weddings has gathered these ideas, products, and resources to make it easy for you to make your wedding as environmentally responsible, socially aware, and eco-chic as possible. Because I believe that you can have it all–the look and the style that you want, and better choices about where you spend your money that help you feel good about how you impact the global community. Planning your wedding is a great time to make the decision to be more sustainable–the decisions you make now can continue into your married life, when and if you become parents, and so on. Eco-Chic Weddings sees this moment in your life as the ideal time to take a critical look at your purchasing choices, where your dollars are going, and your impact on the world. The goal of this book is to help you lay a solid groundwork for your future by guiding you through the wedding planning process. This book will answer two very important questions: WHY should you have an eco-chic wedding, and HOW can you be eco-chic?

Well, we all know that planning a wedding means spending money. The average cost of the American wedding is now $27,825 (in 1990, it was $15,208). So let’s take a quick look at where you might be spending your cash:

Reception42%
Engagement/Wedding Rings20%
Honeymoon12%
Photo/Video8%
Bride and Groom’s Apparel7%
Flowers7%
Invitations5%
Cake3%
Music (Ceremony/Reception)3%
Ceremony1%
Transportation1%

Based on this breakdown, most couples spend the largest portion of their dollars on the Reception, but a hefty sum is also spent on just the engagement ring. In the three categories–Reception, Rings, and the Honeymoon–the total amount spent on weddings in the U.S. are:
Honeymoons$8 billion
Diamond Engagement Rings$7 billion
Wedding Registries$19 billion
[Source: Condé Nast Bridal Group–American Wedding Study 2006]

You might be shocked to learn that, according to a recent survey by the Fairchild Bridal Group, wedding spending in the U.S. has gone from $5 billion in 2002 to $125 billion in 2005, with 295 million wedding guests attending the nation’s 2.1 million weddings this year. It stands to reason that weddings have a unique impact on the environment and the global economy. So while you may think that this is a really bad time for you to be a responsible global citizen, it actually is the perfect time. Perfect because you are planning your wedding, but you’re also planning your future–so many decisions are being made, such as where you will live, how you will live, what sort of things you will have in your new married life.

This is the deal–as we, the consumer, demonstrate a demand for more sustainable products in the marketplace, businesses will pay attention, and wanting to get our business, they will be encouraged to adopt better, healthier ways of producing and selling goods. Some people refer to this as “voting with your pocketbook,” which is exactly what it is. You, bride- or groom-to-be, can start by choosing products for your wedding made by companies and countries that practice conscious commerce, that participate in fair trade, and who are making a difference in the world–whether through making contributions to environmental efforts or supporting emerging economies. And selfishly, this will be a better, healthier path for you to take, because your unique, non-typical choices will result in a wedding that truly is a reflection of who you are, what your values are, and what you believe in. It is my hope that this book will help you see that there really isn’t a right or a wrong way to have a wedding–what it all comes down to is personal choice. With Eco-Chic Weddings, I offer to you the simplest ideas that you can incorporate into your wedding, so that you, busy bride or groom, don’t have to do a lot of work to make a difference.

To help you make eco-chic decisions as you plan the wedding of your dreams, this book is organized into 3 key areas: ways to reduce, ways to reuse, and ways to recycle. Thus, each chapter includes simple ways to reduce your impact on the environment, such as not wasting food or simplifying the amount of flower arrangements you have; how to select items that can be reused after the wedding, such as selecting shoes you can wear for other occasions after the wedding (go ahead, get those Manolos if you will wear them for years to come); and finally, ways to recycle items you use at the wedding or how you can purchase items that have been recycled, such as using recycled paper for your invitations or purchasing a vintage dress you have a seamstress refashion to suit your style.

Each person on the planet has their own “footprint” that represents the amount of energy they consume, waste they produce, and impact their buying decisions make on the global community. By choosing sustainable products, fair-trade items, or locally produced goods, you can reduce your individual “footprint.” You can reduce the amount you consume by simplifying your choices, staying within your budget, avoiding going into debt, and reusing items you purchase for your wedding rather than buying one-time-use things. An example of a one-time-use item would be wedding shoes you will only wear once and then throw away. You can also ensure that items used for your wedding are recycled, rather than thrown away. Let’s talk about specific ways you can Reduce, Reuse, and Recycle for your wedding.

Reduce
According to the EPA (Environmental Protection Agency), the U.S. is producing more landfill waste now than ever before. One estimate shows that between the years 1960 and 1997, total U.S. Municiple trash, or landfill waste, increased an astounding 146.5%. What are some basic ways you can reduce the amount of trash you produce?
• Simplify: Whenever you can, wherever you can, without compromising your style, know that fewer details to attend to will translate into more fun, more time for your guests, less stress, and less over-consumption. Avoid buying products with excess packaging, including gifts–did you know you can request no wrapping paper for your gifts?
• Be an Individual: Opt out of the idea that you “have” to do anything–for example, the wedding favor. The often-tacky, one-time-use wedding favors have become commonplace, and 99.9% of the time, the guests toss the favor in the trash post-event. I myself did not give my guests a favor; instead, we made a donation to Habitat for Humanity. Upon arrival, our guests read about this donation on a little sign at the seating card table, which made them smile, and that is something they won’t throw away.
• Prioritize: Decide what your priorities are and where you want to focus your resources. Want that fabulous Carmen Marc Valvo? Then maybe you can reduce in other areas–the flowers or your transportation. Whatever you do, don’t go into debt for the sake of having an over-the-top wedding. For instance, I made sure to choose a location that had a décor we found pleasing, eliminating the need to spend extra money, time, and resources decorating the space.

Reuse
When you buy items that can be reused in their present form, you are practicing what experts refer to as the “cradle to cradle” philosophy: Make sure what you purchase can be reused and is of good quality so as to have a long and useful life. Important steps you can take to reuse as much as possible:
• Borrow: Check to see if you can use borrowed, rented, or secondhand items before you purchase new ones. I borrowed a beautiful pearl bracelet from my good friend Tara–which was even more special because she couldn’t be at the wedding.
• Make Style a Priority: Timeless, classic design is an excellent way to select items for your wedding that won’t go out of style.
• Avoid Wedding-Themed Items: For more than one reason, not the least of which is the fact that “wedding” items (shoes, bags, shawls, etc.) automatically cost more money than non-wedding items. Another reason to avoid wedding-centric goods: with almost 100% certainty, you will never use that item again. Stick to pretty, tasteful, well-designed items that are perfect for a “wedding” because you say they are.

Recycle
Recycling is the process of making something new out of an old item or material, such as turning discarded wine bottles into drinking glasses, or taking an old wedding dress and remaking it into a new design. Buildings and other structures can also be recycled, such as turning an old school into a hotel, or transforming a trolley car into a bus. Be a champion of recycling and follow these basic tenets:
• Check for the Recycling Label: Buy recycled products and products that are made out of recyclable materials. Always check for the recycled/recyclable label.
• Set a Good Example: Ensure your reception location, florist, caterer, and anyone else involved with producing your wedding practices good recycling behavior.
• Support Businesses Doing the Right Thing: You can make a positive contribution to sustainable business simply by hosting your wedding at a venue that has been recycled, such as a mansion that is now operating as a family restaurant. You can also support designers who use their ingenuity to recycle non-virgin resources, such as one-of-a-kind journals as wedding favors, which have been made from recycled books, or even your great-aunt’s wedding dress that a talented seamstress has recreated to be your own unique design.

Excerpted from

Eco-Chic Weddings: Simple Tips to Plan an Environmentally Friendly, Socially Responsible, Affordable, and Stylish Celebration
by Emily Elizabeth Elizabeth Anderson
Buy this book at
Barnes & Noble

Getting Married when It's Not Your First Time

Life is just full of surprises, isn't it?

Do you remember a time when you were sure you could never feel this way again? And now, here you are ' as happy as a teenager.

Congratulations!

Now, what are you worrying about?

Worries About Marrying Again

"I'm too old to be a bride!"

No, you're not. Once upon a time, the average age of a bride was 18 or 19. Today, it's 26 or 27 and getting older all the time.

Why? It's true that many people are getting married for the first time at a later stage in their lives. But the number of second marriages is also rising, and third and fourth marriages are no longer rarities that occur only in Hollywood. More than 30 percent of weddings today involve at least one partner who was married before.

Second weddings are hot. Second weddings are more sophisticated, cooler, funkier, more fun. They are more shamelessly romantic, in the way only two people who already know what a 3 A.M. feeding is like can be.

You, my dear, are not alone.

"Re bridal salon consultant will laugh at me!"

No, she won't. Bridal salons, ring designers, florists, caterers, and dress designers have noticed that you are one of a swiftly multiplying number of women: encore brides. They are reconfiguring their businesses to appeal to you. A 40-year-old is not an uncommon sight in a bridal salon, nor is a 50-or 60-year-old. And if you're 70, honey, bless your heart.

"What will people (my children, my ex, my family, my friends)think?"

Your children and your future stepchildren will need extra love and support from both you and your fiance. Tips, guidance, and advice from both stepparents and stepchildren are offered in the chapters to come.

Your ex-spouse could be a little irritant or a big problem, but if he was supportive of you and your choices, he wouldn't be your ex, now, would he? The next chapter is devoted to how to deal with him and how to deal with your fiance's ex, too.

If your husband died, you may be worried about what his parents and family will think. There's advice ahead for you, as well.

Your parents and siblings, I hope, have your best interests at heart and will share your joy and happiness.

Your friends are probably reminding you that you stormed around for months after your divorce, swearing you'd never walk down the aisle again. They may be a little jealous. After all, you've found love all over again. Lucky you!

"What if I fail again?"

Well, you've changed. Remember that you have a tremendous advantage now that you didn't have the last time you thought about marriage: You are older, wiser, and more experienced. You've survived the end of a major love partnership. You've lost love and regained it. You can use what you've learned to create a new, lasting relationship. Your new marriage can be anything you two make it. You have the strengths you each developed in your previous relationships, and you have the new combined strengths you've developed together.

Congratulations!

Do You Deserve Another
Real Wedding?

Not too many etiquette manuals ago, a second wedding was barely an occasion at all. It was a subdued affair, attended only by immediate family and treated as quietly as possible.

Not anymore! Today, a second wedding is celebrated as joyfully as a first-even more so because it is a Joining of a more mature bride and groom who have a deeper understanding of their vows and who have triumphed over personal challenges.

You have to be brave to try again, and you and your fiance have not only tried, but succeeded!

A second or third commitment to marriage doesn't I mean it's less of a commitment. Marriage is a significant, lifechanging event, whenever it occurs, and deserves to be marked with importance and ceremony.

This Wedding Will Be Special
in Its Own Ways

You and your fiance have already learned that love is unique. Your new marriage will be inherently different from your first in many ways. Your wedding should be, too.

Don't create a rerun of your first wedding. Start fresh. Start over. Find new ways to celebrate.

Do not, under any circumstances, get married in the same church or temple, hotel, or park as one of you did the first time around. Do not use the same ring, choose the same celebrant, embrace the same color scheme. Do not honeymoon on the same island. And you already know better than to wear the same dress. Create your wedding out of the unique style that you and your fiance make together. Make new memories, rather than relive old ones.

Stop Being Embarrassed
and Have Fun

My husband (yes, he's my fourth) and I (I'm his third) did a silly thing at a party the night before our wedding that helped keep things lighthearted. We ordered a wedding cake from an earnest baker who had no idea what we were about to do to his carefully sculpted tiers and flourishes. We stuck a bride and groom on top, but then added little extra plastic people. Two previous brides for him, three ex-tuxedoes for me. They tumbled down the sides and layers of the cake, heads mashed into frosting, miniature dress shoes and tiny plastic hoop skirts sticking out awkwardly. We did check with the kids first to be sure they wouldn't be offended by seeing their parents in effigy in frosting. Cake therapy.

Actually, it 'Was kind of fun, and it set people at case. Everyone knew, of course, that we had been married before, but sometimes people treat it like an unfortunate flaw that shouldn't be brought up. Well, we brought it up and then some, everyone got a chuckle, and the cake wasn't bad, either...

Excerpted from

Getting Married when It's Not Your First Time: An Etiquette Guide and Wedding Planner
by Pamela Hill Nettleton
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Will You Marry Me?

Will You Marry Me?
Seven Centuries of Love
by Helene Scheu-Riesz


Gothic
Letter writing did not become a general practice before the discovery of America.
Not that the art of writing is new! The tombs of Egypt yield bronze pens of the best workmanship, but the Pharaohs have left no private correspondence. The parchments found in the pyramids are bills and accounts of household matters.
The earliest letter of proposal that can be traced was probably the epistle King David sent to his general Joab, when Bathsheba, the wife of Uriah, had taken the royal fancy.
It is a grim proposal by proxy.

David to Joab, sent by the hand of Uriah the Hittite
1035 BC
Set ye Uriah in the forefront of the hottest battle, and retire ye from him that he may be smitten, and die.

Seeing that such use was made of the technique of writing, it is not astonishing that the Greeks, when it was introduced into their country about that time, looked upon it as something evilthe way alchemy and astrology were looked upon later in history. Many of the early letters pertaining to royal marriages bear out the sinister meaning of the word runic. Archives of the courts still reveal cartloads of information illuminating the dark ages when kingdoms could only be acquired by war or marriageequally crueland when it was customary to get rid of enemies, wives, or husbands by poison.
One of these letters, though not a proposal in the strict sense, throws so much light upon the way marriages were proposed and settled at the time that it seems to belong here to paint the background.
Isabella of Angoulme, as a young child, had been engaged to Hugh de Lusignan, a Norman nobleman, and given into his custody. When shewas twelve, King John of England demanded her hand in marriage, and her father, preferring a king as a son-in-law, took her away from Lusignan. To appease his fury, the first daughter of John and Isabella was, from the cradle, engaged to him.
King John was not easy to live with. Far from faithful himself, he was jealous and had a habit of hanging his wifes admirers at the head of her bed. When he diedpoisoned by a monk for trying to rape the abbots sisterIsabella quickly robbed her infant daughter of her fianc and married him herself. Her letter to her young son Henry III neatly explains how she did it all in pure, unselfish, motherly devotion.

Isabella of Angoulme, Queen Dowager and Countess of March and Angoulme, to King Henry of England
AD 1220
We hereby signify to you that when the Earls of March and Eu departed this life, the Lord Hugh de Lusignan remained alone and without heirs in Poictou, and his friends would not permit that our daughter should be united to him by marriage, because her age is so tender, but counseled him to take a wife from whom he might speedily hope for an heir; and it was proposed that he should take a wife in France, which if he had done, all your land in Poictou and Gascony should be lost. We therefore, seeing the great peril that might accrue to you if that marriage took place, married the said Hugh Earl of March ourselves; and God knows that we rather did it for your benefit than our own. Wherefore we entreat you, as our dear son, that this thing may be pleasing to you, seeing that it conduces greatly to the profit of you and yours; and we earnestly pray that you restore to him his lawful right, that is Niort, the castles of Exeter and Rockingham, and 3,500 marks which your father, our former husband, bequeathed to us; and so, if it please you, deal with him who is so powerful, that he may not remain against you, since he can serve you well...and if it shall please you, you may send for our daughter, your sister, by a trusty messenger and letters patent, and we will send her to you.

Isabella was beautiful and mischievous. She did not send her daughter but kept her as a sort of hostage, to put pressure on the king, her son. She intrigued against him and put all sorts of difficulties in his way.
The plight in which Margery Brews, who later became Mrs. John Paston, found herself when she wrote the following letter is an example of what marriages mostly were concerned with in the fifteenth century, among wealthy commoners as among royalty.

Unto my right well-beloved Valentine, John Paston Esqu., be this bill delivered:
1477
Right reverend and worshipful and right-beloved Valentine, I recommend me to you full heartily, desiring to hear of your welfare, which I beseech the Almighty God long for to preserve.... And if it please you to hear of my welfare, I am not in good health of body nor heart nor shall be till I hear from you.
And my lady my mother hath belabored the matter to my father full diligently, but she can no more get than ye know of; for which God knoweth I am full sorry. But if ye love me as I trust verily that ye do, ye will not leave me therefore. For if ye had not half the livelihood that ye have for to do the greatest labor that any woman alive might, I would not forsake you.
No more to you at this time, but the Holy Trinity have you in keeping. And I beseech you that this bill be not seen by none earthly creature save yourself.
And this letter was indited at Topcroft, with full heavy heart

BY YOUR OWN
Margery Brews
Arthur, Prince of Wales, eldest son of Henry VII, was engaged to the Spanish princess Catherine of Aragon. Her parents, Ferdinand and Isabella, postponed the marriage for two years, till the bridegroom had completed his fourteenth year and the bride was fifteen.
They were married in November 1501, and five months later Catherine was a widow. Henry VII was so afraid that he would have to pay back Catherines dowry and would lose the alliance with Spain that he urged the engagement of his second son, Henry, to the young widow. That the boy was only eleven at the time and Catherine seventeen did not hinder the father and Catherines friends both in England and in Spain from campaigning for a speedy celebration of the marriage. Special permission had to be obtained from the pope, who was glad to give it because he hoped the union would strengthen the Roman Church in England. Young Henry resisted for a while and registered doubts about the validity of such a marriage, but he married Catherine in the end.

Arthur, Prince of Wales, to Catherine of Aragon
1499
Most illustrious and excellent lady, my dearest spouse,
I wish you very much health.... I have read the sweet letters of your Highness, from which I have easily perceived your entire love for me. Truly your letters traced by your own hand have so delighted me and have rendered me so cheerful and jocund that I fancied I beheld your Highness and conversed with and beheld my dearest wife. I cannot tell you what an earnest desire I feel to see your Highness, and how vexatious is to me this procrastination of your coming...let it be hastened that instead of absent we may be present with each other, and the loves conceived between us may reap their proper fruit....
From our castle of Ludlow, 5th of October 1499


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Mom's Wedding Planner

From Emily Post's Wedding Planner for Moms

Your Daughter/Son is Engaged!

The Organized Mother

Maybe your child lives in another part of the country and has asked you to lead the wedding planning process on the home front. Or perhaps the couple is spearheading the planning but is looking for your advice and feedback on certain matters. Either way, if you really want to be helpful to the bride and groom, you need to be supportive, empathetic—and organized. The best place to start? In the words of one mother of the bride, "Keep copies of everything." This applies to your own wedding-related duties in particular. In addition, offer to keep a set of backup records for the bride and groom—including copies of the master guest list, contracts, invoices, and contact information for service providers. This way, the couple will know that an extra copy of their key wedding information is just a phone call or an e-mail away.

Top Tips—From Mom to Mom

In putting this planner together, I solicited advice from a number of mothers who weathered their daughter's or son's wedding with grace and aplomb. They shared the following top tips:

• Work with the bride and groom to create a master to-do list, preferably in time sequence. The Master Timeline on page 3 will give you an excellent starting point. In addition, the "Planning at a Glance" checklists throughout this book can help form the basis of your master list.
• Maintain a comprehensive contact list for all service providers, containing the names, phone and fax numbers, and street and e-mailaddresses of every person or company you and the couple are working with. As vendors are selected, you can store all of this information conveniently in the Address Book on page 136 at the back of this planner.
• Compile a master wedding guest list of every guest invited to the wedding. A good idea: Create a computer spreadsheet for ease in recording all RSVPs, counting and sorting guests who are attending, and mailing lists to and from the couple. If you are less than computer savvy, your daughter or son might teach you some basics. Or you can compile the list using the "Wedding Guest List" worksheet on page 119.
• Keep copies of guest lists for any wedding parties, including engagement parties, showers, rehearsal dinner, bridesmaid luncheon, post-wedding late-night party or next-morning brunch. (See page 120 for a "Party Guest List" worksheet that can be copied and used for any wedding-related event.)
• Keep careful records of all shower and wedding gifts, including a full description of each, who gave it, and whether a thank-you note has been sent. (You can use the Wedding Gift Record on page 121 and the Shower Gift Record on page 122.)
• Set up an easily accessible master calendar for entering all wedding-related appointments and events.
• Keep copies of all contracts and invoices along with any pertinent items—such as fabric swatches, photos of gowns, photos of locations, table measurements—in separate file folders or an accordion file folder with multiple pockets.
• Keep notes of all wedding-related phone calls and copies of all wedding-related letters and e-mail received and sent. Print out hard copies of key e-mail correspondence and keep them on hand for quick reference.
• Check off completed "to-do's" as they're accomplished. You'll feel great as you see the number of check marks grow!
• Keep the lines of communication open with the bride and groom by staying in touch on a regular basis.

Mom's Wedding Planner Master Timeline

The following timeline is a summary of virtually everything that needs to get done in the weeks and months leading up to the big day. Each section includes a checklist titled "Just for Moms," containing specific items that you need to be aware of, as well as a "For the Couple" checklist covering the overall wedding planning process. This master timeline will allow you, the couple, and any other interested parties to stay on top of the planning process. (For convenience, you may want to copy this outline and share it with the bride and groom.)

Of course, this timeline is just an estimate. Some couples get engaged and married within just a few months—compressing the planning process into a much shorter time frame. Others take up to two years—or more—to plan their celebration. Each couple's to-do list is unique to their own situation. What you'll find below are the most typical tasks involved in planning a wedding. Note, too, that many couples will ask their mothers to help with various items in the "For Couples" sections. Planning a wedding is the couple's prerogative—but they will be more than glad to know that you stand ready to help!

First Steps: 12 to 24 Months in Advance

Just for Moms

• Send an engagement announcement to the newspapers if desired (this is traditionally done by the parents of the bride).
• Arrange a meeting or, at the very least, a phone call between the two sets of parents; in the past this first contact was traditionally initiated by the parents of the groom, but these days it doesn't matter who calls whom first.
• Discuss the general wedding plans with the couple, including size and division of guest list, budget, and division of expenses.
• Begin thinking about whom you'll want to include in your portion of the guest list.

For the Couple

• Decide on the date and time of the wedding, and send out "save the date" notices if desired.
• Choose the style of the wedding—formal or informal, traditional, theme, destination, civil or religious.
• Determine a budget and discuss the division of expenses with your parents.
• Decide on the size of the guest list and the number of attendants.
• Select an officiant or clergy member to perform the ceremony.
• Choose locations for the ceremony and reception.
• Investigate legal requirements for obtaining a marriage license.
• Select your attendants, both female and male.
• Decide if you want to use a professional wedding consultant; if so, interview and hire the consultant.
• Interview and book wedding professionals, such as the caterer, florist, photographer, videographer, and musicians.
• Research honeymoon options and destinations.

Excerpted from:
Emily Post's Wedding Planner for Moms. Copyright © by Peggy Post. Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved. Available now wherever books are sold.
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